In this article, you will learn:
- How difficult divorces can be navigated smoothly
- The best route to initiate a divorce
It goes back to understanding expectations, and maybe even getting people other resources and support that they need. I am not a therapist, I do not have training in that area, nor do I have time to be on the phone listening and nodding my head to a client who might need the support of a therapist. I often have people meet with me and ask if they can bring a family member or a good friend, and I encourage that because I think that is helpful to them and often even to me. It is helpful to have someone who is supporting them through this process so they do not feel more alone than they already feel.
I recently needed to discuss property division with a client who was so upset about the process to the point of tears. I suggested that my client reach out to someone that they could talk with and even call me back with that person after they were maybe a little calmer about it so that we can discuss what I needed to discuss with them.
The Best Ways To Start A Divorce
This requires getting a sense of where that person is and some details about their life. It is not a one-size-fits-all situation because some people feel unsafe and maybe there has not been actual domestic violence occurring, but that person feels unsafe that the other person is going to be, if not violent, angry about the divorce. We have to approach that situation very cautiously and differently than another situation where the people have discussed it openly and they have already made arrangements and decisions. This is a very different situation than the other one where it is like dropping a nuclear bomb to raise the issue of divorce and even have an attorney onboard. I am very sensitive to that. I am discreet and I remain behind the scenes until we decide otherwise. I do not come out announcing myself to the other side and letting them know that my client has consulted with me or retained me because many times they have agreed not to get lawyers. It is considered to some people a sign of aggression or a sign that they are going to litigate rather than settle the issues by talking with the lawyer.
I do not agree with that. I think that people can and should get information so that they make informed decisions in a settlement rather than presuming that by speaking with a lawyer that they are going to take a litigious or adversarial approach to things. Still, it is something that has to be assessed for each situation and something that I pride myself in understanding at the outset of a case and not assuming that each case is the same. I had a new client recently ask me if I would agree not to serve her husband at work because that would be very embarrassing. Well, of course I am not going to participate in making things complicated and so I explained to her that I actually err on the side of being fair and non-confrontational and reaching out to the other person with an email to introduce myself, letting them know that their spouse is interested in settling the case, and is hopeful that they can do that. But if I am ignored or that person is not going to cooperate in receiving the documents, then I am going to need to hire a process server and I will serve them wherever they are and whether it is embarrassing or not. I will do what I need to do to get the case started to protect my client and I explain that to the other party. For the most part, reason prevails regarding service of the documents because the fact is that no one wants to be served in person if it can be avoided.
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